The hardest talks to have are also the ones we need the most. I consider a Hard Talk to be any conversation you are trying to avoid. These are the ones we can learn the most from.
Over the years, I’ve had many such conversations, from being fired, to getting my ass reamed, to break-ups. None of them were easy, but as you can see, I’m still here. They might not have been easy, but every one of them contained words that someone needed to hear. It’s what you do with those words that counts the most.
The most important thing is to listen, if you’re on the receiving end. Chances are, the person on the other end would rather be doing something else, too, which means you need to hear what they have to say. Check your ego at the door. After they’ve said what they feel they needed to say, you can decide what to do next. If you’re the one doing the talking, again, check your ego. By that time you probably thought about what you wanted to say, and if your emotions led you to that point, your delivery will be much more effective if you can do it with a clear head.
I’ve written before about not avoiding problems and responsibilities, and the difficult conversations are the same. Don’t fear them, embrace them. These are the most important conversations in your life, and you stand to learn the most from them. If you need more proof, think back about all the hard decisions others have made that deep down inside you know you needed to hear. Have you learned anything from them? Or did you just get pissed off? How many times have you felt in your gut you needed to say something and yet you chickened out?
Man up and say what needs to be said, and do so in a manner that fits the situation. On the other side of the coin, man up and learn to take criticism in a way that you can learn from it. Communication is an important part of any relationship, regardless of what type it is. In many cases you’ll find that it wasn’t as bad as you anticipated. Sometimes a person might not even realize they are doing something. Always look for opportunities to learn and grow. Being a man means sometimes doing the things you don’t want to do.
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