Archive for the ‘Lifestyle’ Category

Real men are great leaders. Undaunted by adversity, they step up to the plate when a problem arises, because they are men of action.  This requires confidence and courage.  When others are uncertain, they will trust in a man who shows the confidence and takes the lead.  It happens all the time in movies, and while you may never face the day where you are rallying the militia to ward off the evils of treacherous invaders, there are plenty of opportunities for you to seize your masculinity and assume command.

Assume Command Of Yourself

You are the only person who should have any control over yourself.  Never relinquish command over your own life.  In other words, don’t allow others to control you.  While there are some examples which are beyond your control (prison, military, etc.), I’m talking about exercising control over the things that are inherently yours.  The rest of this article will cover some situations where men commonly lose control, but first you must master control over yourself.  This means being aware of your actions and thoughts and recognizing that you have a choice in how you react to any situation.  Lose control of yourself and you’ve lost control of the situation.  Case in point: flying off the handle.  That’s an easy example.  Other examples that might not be so conspicuous are things like resisting a temptation to violate your personal integrity.  Real badasses may bend rules, but they never sacrifice their integrity.

Only one person can be in command over you, so be sure that you’re the one in charge.

Assume Command Of Your Relationship

Relationships are tricky.  There’s a lot to consider when it comes to how a guy should behave, especially since we’re all inundated with information from all sides.  How do you separate the wheat from the chaff?  What does it mean to take command of your relationship?

It doesn’t mean that you have to control your wife, girlfriend, or partner.  It does, however, mean that you take the lead and that you don’t allow your significant other to control you.  Assuming command of your relationship entails standing up for yourself while not taking advantage of the situation.  You don’t need to control your partner, you only need to not be controlled.  One of the biggest contributions to all the problems nice guys face is this.  They live for doing whatever women want, and feel that they have to check in with women for every decision.  Or they can’t make a decision at all for fear that the woman won’t like it.

Does that sound awesome to you?

Truth: masculinity = being decisive, not capitulating to the whims and desires of women, taking the lead.  Women are naturally attracted to masculinity.  It’s biological.  Women are also naturally adept at testing men.  This is a fact of life.  She will never stop testing you, so you need to be man enough to never allow her to get away with something she shouldn’t be getting away with.  (Some of the time, though, something a woman does means nothing.  Here is a good article with a great example.)

Does all this mean that you shouldn’t do anything a woman wants, that it should all be about you?  No.  You are the man.  You are supposed to take the lead.  You are supposed to be strong.  You still have to give her a reason to stay with you, which means showing her respect, etc.  So don’t be a dick.  And stop being such a pussy.

Assume Command Of Your Kids

I see it all the time.  People that let their kids take control.  They acquiesce to the kids’ every demand.  The kids manipulate the parents into getting whatever they want.  The kids don’t listen.  They cannot be pleaded or bargained with.

It pisses me off, frankly, when I see this.

You are the boss of your kids.  Your kids are not the boss of you.  Let them know who is in charge.  Tell them straight up how things are going to be.  You don’t even need to raise your voice.  Take charge and be firm.  When you make a decision, stick to it.  Don’t waffle.  It’s your responsibility to provide for your kids, see to their safety, and to teach them about life.  It’s perfectly okay to give your kids choices and allow them to practice making decisions and learning from them.  But sometimes you are obligated to make decisions for them.  Accept this and they will come to accept it if you stick to your guns.

A couple extra tips:

• Being firm doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole.  I see a lot of parents using the words please and thank you with their children.  Pretty good, if you ask me.  But what’s not good is if they don’t respond to your asking nicely.  At some point you should assume control.  Tell them what to do if they don’t respond to asking.
• Watch those nanny shows on TV and see how the parents act and react to their kids.  It’s easy to be an armchair quarterback while watching other peoples’ kids go ballistic, but you may find it to be difficult to restore order to a lawless household.
• Remember: Don’t be a pussy.  You are the one in charge.

Assume Command of Your Career

Everyone is either caught in a rut or knows somebody who’s a victim of the same-old same-old.  They live their lives as if in a daze, completely on autopilot.  They get up, go to work, come home, repeat.  The thing about this routine is that usually, at work, these guys have also fallen into place and they just accept whatever.  Does that sound like a guy who is in control of his destiny?

There are always opportunities for improvement, to excel, for promotion.  You don’t necessarily need to be your own boss (but if that is your goal, you should be seeking out ways to facilitate that), but you should be proactive about enhancing your placement in life, at least with your job.  Maybe you don’t want to be upper management, but you have every right to get paid for your efforts.  If you want more money and you put in the work to increase the value of the company, the service, or the products, you deserve to be rewarded.  So be proactive about helping your company, and be proactive about getting what you deserve.  The best way to get a raise is to ask for one.  I will caution you though, on being proactive about this.  Don’t go around constantly touting all the shit you do, it’ll just annoy people.  Be a consummate, silent professional until the time comes to make your pitch for more cash.

If you find yourself in a dead-end job and there seems to be no hope for advancement (maybe there are a lot of politics at your company), I suggest finding a better place of employment.

Assume Command of Your Finances

Finances affect everyone, especially in this economy.  There is nothing that can make a man feel like all hell is breaking loose than a stack of bills he can’t pay.  Or a sudden financial crisis blindsides him like a mack truck.  If you’re not in total control of your finances, you’re not alone.  It’s understandable.  But you should at least be working towards some semblance of order, trying to get a handle on some system so you can a) pay all your bills, b) save some doucats for emergencies, and c) working towards enhancing your quality of life (making more money on the side to increase your means).

There are tons of resources out there to help you.  The first thing is to figure out what the problem is.  No job?  Look up tips on finding one.  Job not paying enough?  Look up how to get a raise, make extra money on the side, OR look up how to get rid of shit that’s dragging you down (things you don’t need).  Form a plan with reasonable and realistic goals, and put it into action.  Don’t wait around for the right time, because it won’t come.  Get your ass in gear and you can make it happen.  When you do make it happen, it’ll give you a peace of mind like no other.

Assume Command of Your Actions

Ultimately, all the things I mentioned above, and all other things in your life, revolve around you making a decision.  You always have a choice in where you are going, how you react to things, and even how happy you are.  If you want a no-shit step-by-step guide to transforming yourself into the person you are destined to be, the best possible version of yourself, get a copy of Unleash Your Inner Badass.  It contains everything you need to know.

Great leaders command respect.  They have their shit together.  It all starts with you.  Take command of your life and all else will fall into place.